KKsProfoundThoughts

Thoughts on the Ending of 2006

The end of the year. A day filled with the surprise of a snowfall. The end of the year, the shortened, brief days, hectic and busy and all of a sudden, the last day of the year. The last day of the year always makes me sad.

It has not been a bad year at all. God continues to bless me with good health and vigor and meets my every need. But I have not had a tremendous sense of peace this year. I keep asking myself, "is this all there is?" Can I be content with what I have? Is there more?

My biggest complaint is that I am alone. Most of the time, this does not bother me, as I have been alone before in my life. But now it is by means of an empty nest. I tried to prepare myself for it years ago. Nothing really helped.

So I ask myself, do you think you want to find a man friend? That scares the holy crap out of me. So, after much contemplation, I decided I need a closer friend/friends. I have some wonderful and caring internet friends, and some I am in touch with on a daily basis. And I work with 9 other women, with whom I am friendly, but we have to be in each other's company for about 7 hours a day, so we are eager to say goodbye and see you tomorrow, or have a good evening, or a great weekend...but we do not carry the friendship into our home life. It is an 'at work' friendship. I am becoming more aware of the fact that to have friends, one must be a friend, first. I feel like I have failed at that. Or my cup would be running over with friends.

I have never been one to make New Year's resolutions, but tonight I have a few:

1. I resolve to become a better friend.
2. I am going to work at being happier.
3. I pray to always have a thankful heart.